


Fine On the Outside

by Azuki_Rose



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, It's a bit sad, Summer Camp AU, but it's got a good ending (i think), catradora, imma take y'all on a trip as we begin with a day in the life of catra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-30 01:30:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19031986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azuki_Rose/pseuds/Azuki_Rose
Summary: Catra's been struggling with her feelings for Adora ever since the two were young. Every year they head to Brightmoon Lake for summer camp, and since they'll be starting high school in the fall Catra isn't sure they're going to be together as much as she'd like. Something's gotta happen between the two of them now or nothing is going to change...





	Fine On the Outside

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah, i did a thing. i gave in to my obsession for catradora by finally writing a fic -- this one a one-shot for the catradora zine fandom contest going on on tumblr. also i think i love catra too much to never write something about her and her compulsive pining after adora, she's just my favorite thing ever. 
> 
> it took me a while to get back into the writing game, but here i finally am with this mini work...please enjoy! ^^

“Catra, wait up!” 

Branches scratched at her clothing and a gust of summer wind whistled through her hair playfully as she advanced. It was as if the world around her was attempting to hold her back, but even so she kept on pressing onward, pushing aside shrouds of leaves on bulbous bushes. Bare feet pounded on grassy earth below, and the distinct laughter of her friend followed behind like the tinkling melody of a wind chime. 

With a few more powerful strides, Catra erupted from the verdant brush and dug her claws into the muddy shore, finally coming to an abrupt halt. A new breeze, this one gentle and carrying with it the scent of blooming life, cloudless summer days, and bittersweet nostalgia kissed her cheeks. She stood there, unwavering, for a few seconds as the water lapped up against her ankles, and did her best to absorb and preserve every single detail. 

Here she was again, the same place she found herself every summer. The only thing different about this time around was that it would be the last she’d spend in this beautiful area together with her best friend. It was a depressing thought, yes, that she wouldn’t deny, but it was beyond her control to prevent any kindred thoughts from wreaking havoc in her mind, as well as in her heart. 

She didn’t want to think about anything. But it was hard, terribly hard, especially when--

“Woooo-hooooo, hidy-ho Catra! Beat ya to the water!”

Catra’s ears flattened against her head when she heard the boisterous splash and realized there was now an unexpected trail of discarded clothing on the dock, in particular (and in this methodic order exactly) two muddy white sneakers that were now a tainted cream, a comfy pair of khaki shorts, and a baggy red and white baseball tee. Of course Adora had thrown all her worries and clothing to the wind, and resorted to cannonballing straight into the lake. 

Catra, obviously torn (and good riddance to it as well) from her dispiriting train of thought, blinked a few times, decided that it was unfortunate she had let Adora win her this occasion on their race to the lake, and began shedding her own clothing as she simultaneously scampered across the dock. “I got distracted, that’s all!”  _ Distracted by thinking about my last summer here with you, no biggie. _

She threw herself haphazardly into the lake, and the water wrapped its welcoming embrace around her in the way it always did each summer. With a melodramatic gasp Catra broke the surface and smoothed out her dark brown hair so that it was away from her face, and once her vision cleared, there rested a welcomed surprise. Adora was a few feet away, smiling at her in the most adorable manner as she kept herself afloat. How could Adora not know that her grin was basically the only thing on Earth that would stop Catra’s heart in a split second? And that the way the sun splashed across her golden hair or the way that the wind liked to tousle it; how could she not know that they were things Catra swore only existed in movies? 

There was no stopping her as she sunk below the waves, just enough to cover the warmth that was spreading across her cheeks. Catra hovered there in the water, feeling a hundred feet off the ground and likewise knowing the sensation was immediate and true to some extent, considering they were deep enough not to be touching the sandy bottom. 

Adora maneuvered herself closer, and the smile on her face had done little to become less daunting. It was sooner than she expected when there Adora was, less than a foot way, Catra completely immobilized across from her. 

_ Too close, too close--  _ There was no escape now; Catra’s heart lurched in her throat, and she raised herself enough to leave the water just enough so that she would be able to breath through her nose again. “What are you doing?” she growled in jest, half in wonder and half in an attempt to rid herself of her best friend’s piercing blue eyes, yet Adora simply smiled back wider again at Catra’s obvious discomfort.

There was a touch against her side and another prod against her knee, and gossamer-light fingers brushed against Catra’s arm. “I’m just thinking about how happy I am to be here again with you.”

_ Act normal Catra…  _ Was it the sound of the lake drumming up against the shore that repeatedly echoed in her ears, or was it something else, something akin to the beat pounding away in her tight chest? “...I’m happy to be here with you too.”

“I’m really gonna miss coming here.”

“Same. But you know what?”

“What?”

“I’m going to miss being with you the most.”

She finally seized hold of the sky blue eyes in front of her, and it was if everything else had chosen to dissolve and leave room for the two girls and the two girls alone. There were no more afflicting thoughts colliding through her mind, no more concern over the agonizing palpitations. It was just Adora, and it was just Catra. 

Should she say more? It was their last time together here after all, and now was the perfect chance. Maybe she should say more, just so she wouldn’t feel like she missed the opportunity of a lifetime when the moment was completely and wholly right. 

“Adora, I--” 

“ADORAAAAAA!!” Twin screeches from the shore hurdled themselves at the girls in the water, one a higher pitch, and the other a deeper, cracking tone that Catra recognized all too well. 

Reluctantly, Adora broke the visual tether that Catra had gathered so much courage to finally create. If she could, she would have liked to remain within that flawless, cozy state, just a few minutes longer. “Ah, it’s Glimmer and Bow.”

_ You say that like you aren’t really that excited about seeing them. I mean, even so I’m on the same page.  _ “Yeah….” Catra sunk herself down a few inches into the water again to hide the frown that spread across her face at the same speed of the descending gloom already swallowing her up. “You...gonna go say hi to them?”

There was a peculiar flash of something within Adora’s eyes, and beneath the surface the feathered touches of Adora’s fingers against Catra’s forearm spread into a full-on grasp, one that lasted for but a second before she finally let go. 

“I….I’ll just go say hi really quickly, yeah. Seems like they’re pretty excited to see me, haha,” the laugh that followed was different than the one Catra had heard before, the one that frolicked behind her while the two of them had ran through the trees carefree as they leapt over moss-covered logs and darted around rocks too large to climb. 

“I’ll be back soon; promise.” 

The distance grew between them as Adora traveled through the water, and with every inch that separated them Catra felt an annoying gnawing grabble at the lining of her stomach. 

_ Stupid Adora. Stupid, kind, friendly, perfect Adora.  _

Catra listened to the brushing of the water against the rough sand and closed her eyes, allowing the sounds and smells of the surrounding world to take free reign of her currently undesired situation. 

She was futile in completely disregarding Adora’s voice as it wafted over the benign, recurrent waves, and in her mind she imagined a summer where the two of them had no worries or distractions. 

* * *

 

If it weren’t for the fact that Adora was standing before Catra, back muscles taut as she flexed in a sweat-ridden shirt that clutched to her skin in ways much too appealing for Catra to be grossed out, she’d definitely be a millions miles away from this particular activity. 

Correction: from these particular  _ people _ . 

“Hi-hoooooooooooooooo~” Seahawk clambered up the lichen-dusted boulder to her left and posed in some sort of cheesy heroic stance, then lugged a knapsack full of snacks over his shoulder. “Bow my lad: catch!”

Catra moved out of the way just in time as the boy darted right in front of her, barely with enough momentum to catch the load of food as it hurtled toward the ground at an astounding speed. He grunted under the weight and stumbled just slightly, but with a grin plastered to his face he wandered back over to the foot of the rock wall they were all currently sizing up, trophy of snacks in hand. 

This was totally a piece of cake for Catra, and she was literally jumping out of her skin at a chance to show off in front of Adora. Their group had been waltzing through the forest that entire morning after a speedy breakfast that Catra wished had delayed a bit longer, and for whatever reason their group leader, the ostentatious Seahawk, had forgotten there rested a miniature cliff-like obstacle about halfway down their planned path.

How was it that she was perpetually stuck with a group of people she had literally  _ zero _ interest in, aside from Adora? Maybe it was just the whole world that sucked, and her best friend was the only thing that really mattered to her enough to care about…Or maybe the people she loathed really  _ were  _ incredibly annoying and she could care less. Maybe it was even a combination of the two.

There was a crackle before her, and something snapped loudly in a way that didn’t sound good. Scorpia lifted up her hiking stick between her claws, and lo and behold (Catra was not surprised), it had magically undergone mitosis and duplicated into two smaller versions of itself. 

“I er, seem to have held my stick a bit  _ too  _ hard….I’m, y’know, kinda nervous about scaling this giant rock wall is all, haha,” Scorpia’s tense laughter entered Catra’s ears, and the latter flattened them against her head because  _ god  _ she was 100% over this, especially when Scorpia’s superpower of clumsiness kicked in and objects broke by just her looking at them.

Catra rolled her eyes with a heavy sigh, and pushing her way past the equally muddled Scorpia and Seahawk doing rocket science as they tried to piece together the tree limb, she jumped forward and landed on the first ledge of the rock wall. 

Down below her Adora held no power over giving Catra a delicious pout, and Catra licked her lips as she smiled back down, tail waggling behind her in delight. “Need some help, Adora?” There was a dumb smile on her face; she could feel it growing with every second spent in reasonable proximity of her best friend. It was strange; it was always there, always had been. At some point, she wasn’t quite sure when, it felt different -- like it meant more than it had before. 

Adora raised an arm to wipe away the layer of perspiration that had beaded together at the top of her forehead over their three hours of continuous hiking. “Nah, I got this!” She grunted, gave her shoulders an adorable little shake, and tightened the straps of the pack on her back before saying something to Glimmer and Bow beside her. “Be my human body mattress if I fall, okay?”

_ It’d probably be the only thing they’re good at. _

Apparently Glimmer was of an other mindset, but her comment diverted Catra’s attention and forced her face to split into a toothy grin. “What do we look like? Sumo wrestlers?” Glimmer leaned forward in vain to try and grab Adora by the side of her cargo pants before she hoisted herself up, but was too late; Adora was already clambering up the rocks as naturally as a mountain goat could and twice as graceful as one would be. 

Just a few more feet and Adora’d be up on the same rock ledge as Catra, no longer down below on the ground with the blundering Scorpia, ear-splitting Seahawk, and overly-friendly Glimmer and Bow. 

Oh yeah, and Mermista was around here somewhere trying to track down Entrapta, who had followed curiosity when it beckoned and the wind sang through the trees. It was a good chance to get away from her overly attached boyfriend, and thus when the situation of a missing Entrapta had presented itself, she took it eagerly by the hand. Perhaps she’d even get lost in the wilderness, if she was lucky.

Catra extended her hand, maybe even just a bit too quickly, but thankfully Adora didn’t seem to notice. Even if she did there was no fuss over the calloused pads of her hand as they revealed themselves willingly for the taking, and for this Catra was grateful. “Here, I’ll help pull you up.”

“Thanks!” Adora heaved her leg over the ledge and dusted herself off, and the two of them shared similar egotistical smirks as they looked down at the remaining group still at the bottom. “What are you waiting for, guys? Start climbing already! We wanna make this thing by lunch!” Adora shouted down. 

Catra tried suppressing the urge to cackle as Glimmer forced Bow to stand against the rock wall with the bag of snacks over his head so that she could climb him like a tree with the added height advantage. The pink-haired girl ultimately failed when gravity brought her back down to the dirt with a pained, aggravated grunt, but she wasn’t down for long and within a second she was back up on her hightopped heels, ready for Round #2.

“Glimmer, maybe we should wait for Seahawk; he’s probably got some climbing gear that we could use to scale this thing. Obviously we aren’t as good as Adora or Catra,” Bow tried, and when he attempted to brush off some of the burrs and leaves that had thrown themselves into his friend’s hair she swatted him away.

“No Bow, we can do this! I was just warming up.”

_ Obviously.  _ Catra and Adora stood side by side for at least five minutes as Glimmer reanimated the scene that unfolded with her initial try, and by the thirty-fourth attempt Catra was near done watching the sparkly pink bob flounder up and down, ultimately going nowhere.

A devious thought slithered into Catra’s mind, and her ears flicked. “Hey Adora, maybe the two of us should just go on ahead? We could attach some rope or something at the top, and then lower it down to make the climb easier for everyone else. The rest can catch up with us later.”  _ It’d give us some time together alone from these idiots, for once. _

She was beyond elated when Adora didn’t need even a single second to mull over the plan; of course Adora would think it’d be a good one. She’d do basically anything to help those revolting companions of hers, but so far this plan really had no downside.

“That sounds like a really good idea, actually….Nice goin’, Catra!” Adora’s fingers dug themselves into the thick tufts of brown hair at the top of Catra’s head to give her friend an endearing rub, but they were gone much sooner than Catra liked. 

In the not-too-far distance the sound of Seawhawk and Scorpia wrangling with duct tape could be heard, and Glimmer moaned. “Ughhh, but who knows how long that’ll take! And Seahawk and Mermista said they wanted us to stick together. We shouldn't split up, it could be dangerous.”

Adora’s blue eyes careened toward the mismatched lemon and aquamarine of her best friend’s, and contained within them was the silent plea for forgiveness for an act she was about to commit. “I mean, I don’t know….”

_...Oh wow, I was wrong. I probably should have seen that coming though. _ Inside, Catra’s stomach turned in on itself, and to hide the pain she scoffed rudely. “Whatever. They’ll need your help more than I do.” Pivoting on the balls of her feet she sent a few pebbles soaring down the face of the ledge, and part of her kind of hoped they’d find themselves meeting Glimmer’s face. “See ya later, Adora.”

“Wait! Catra--”

But she was already gone, this time deserting Adora before her friend could do so herself in lieu of spending time with or assisting the clingy duo known as Bow and Glimmer.

Of course Adora would pick her over-glorified friends instead of Catra. It didn’t matter that they’d known each other their entire lives, or went to school together since kindergarten, or made up their own creative names for the constellations, or shared with each other every single fear or thought that scampered through their minds.

None of it mattered, because Adora would probably leave her every single time, and Catra was done being disappointed. 

She halted for a moment, now high above the verdant tops of the quivering pine trees that swayed to the rhythm of the summer breeze, debating whether she should head back down and tell Adora to just leave them behind for once. In the end she figured if she had done so, it’d just make her seem like an even bigger antisocial jerk than she already was.

And so she continued climbing. Within the next minute Catra was at the very peak of the obstacle that had threatened her group and teased them into anxiety, and she brushed off some stray blades of grass before spotting a bed of pampas amidst wildflowers. Deciding it looked like a favorable place to rest for a while, she settled on making herself comfortable as she waited for the rest to make their way up. 

“But  _ Adoraaaa _ ,” she muttered in a whiny, high-pitched voice in a poor imitation of Glimmer. “I can’t climb by myself! I need someone strong to help me up; Bow definitely isn’t strong enough to help me and neither are Seahawk or Scorpia. And we have to stay together! People totally didn’t wander away already…Pftttttt,  _ lies _ \--” A clump of grass connected with Catra’s foot and dirt peppered the ground in a soddy shower. “It’s not like I wanted to spend time with you too. It’s not like it’s our last summer together here or anything…” 

Clouds passed above her head in feathered droves, snow-white and swollen in appearance as if they had just departed from a celebratory feast and were now gliding away in the direction of another pleasant event. Wherever they were going, it was probably a better place than where Catra was right now.

Catra sank into the thick pampas below and found some comfort in staring up at the azure sky. “I just wish she thought of me as someone worth more time being around.” It was only a half-truth, uttered out loud to pacify the tumultuous insecurity that rumbled beneath her skin of something she desired much, much more than just simple  _ time _ . 

The sound of wood clattering against rock penetrated the peaceful silence that Catra was currently allowing herself to sulk in without the fear of being ridiculed by others, and she immediately bolted upright into a sitting position. 

“Who’s there?”

“Phew, if  _ that  _ wasn’t a work out I don’t know what is! I think I’m sweating in places I didn’t even know I could sweat...” 

A maroon claw, one Catra recognized instantly, reached over the rock ledge Catra had previously climbed and burrowed itself into the ground, scraping against dirt and granite. Following the claw popped a mane of cropped white hair, and Catra frantically wished she had enough time to hide herself in the tall grass. 

_ Didn’t she say she was scared about climbing this cliff...? _

“Ah, Catra! There you are; I think you forgot your pack down there at the bottom. Not to worry though -- I brought it up for you!” Scorpia’s claws busied themselves for a moment as she dusted her joggers off, and when she was finally satisfied in having done a decent job she fixed Catra, who had almost succeeded in burying herself in a mixture of overgrown weeds, with a gentle smile. “Hey, what’s the matter? You doing alright, bud?” Walking over slowly she laid down Catra’s pack by the roots of a small tree, and because she didn’t want to seem so intimidating (Scorpia knew she did so at times, and because of this always had a hard time making friends) she sank down to a more amiable level. 

“It’s nothing. I just….don't feel like talking much right now.”  _ And heeeeere you go again, bottling yourself up to one of the few out of 7 billion people who live on this planet and actually want to talk to you. _ Catra curled her arms around her knees as she pulled them closer to her chest, and a light, frustrated breath sent the heads of a couple of dandelions flying. 

“And why’s that?” 

_ Maybe it’d do me some good if I actually talk to someone about this instead of...instead of being angry and sad and horrible to be around.  _ “I…I’m just mad. Mad at Adora.”

“Adora?” There was a short confused laugh, and although Scorpia felt a bit dumb for not having guessed sooner, there was still the yen of wanting to know more about Catra, to  _ truly _ understand her. Although Catra seemed to have an eternal scowl on her face except for the times when she was around Adora, there had always been a sort of invisible camaraderie between herself and Catra, or so Scorpia liked to think. 

“What did Adora do...? You don’t have to explain things if you don’t want, but y’know I am a very good listener, and it’s not like I have many friends to talk to about this kinda stuff anyways…”

_ So she really doesn’t have anyone to talk to, huh? I guess we’re in the same boat, _ Catra thought as a warm breeze washed against her face, and for once, although she’d never admit it, decided herself and Scorpia might have something in common. 

“You can’t tell  _ anyone  _ what I’m about to say to you, okay? I swear, if I find out you told anyone anything about what we say here I’ll tie that overgrown tail of yours in a knot.”

“I promise you: my lips are sealed!” Scorpia, not taken aback in the slightest over Catra’s oath of revenge, responded with a lively salute, one that earned her a glare from the other girl when she almost obliterated Catra’s head in the process. “Whoops, hahaha, sorry about that…”

Verdant blades dotted by a mixture of flamboyant pink and yellow flowers followed the direction of the wind and clouds, moving together as one cohesive, synchronized fraction of nature. There were no ravaging calls from the omniscient camp group leaders, no exasperating favors shot through the open air left and right like ballistic missiles to get things done. Up here was an entirely new realm with an ambience just welcoming enough for Catra’s frustrated self to disclose personal matters she normally wouldn’t share with a living soul, and that in itself felt strangely liberating. 

A few moments of silence preluded before Catra was able to gather enough courage by foraging through her pessimistic, lonesome mind, and with a swift inhale and eyes focused on the roaming clouds above, Catra began. 

“I….Adora and I have been best friends since, well, since as long as I can remember having memories. Whenever I needed her she was there. Whether I was getting bullied by some big, bratty kid in first grade, or I’d been packed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich instead of a tuna one. She’d be there to give the mean kid a sucker punch straight to the gut, or swap me her sandwich for something I’d like better.”

“Soooo you’re still friends with her right…? I mean, the two of you still hang out, as far as I know.”

“Shhh, I’m not done telling my story.”

“Oh, right! Sorry, I won’t interrupt again.”

“To answer your question though; yes, she still is my friend. She’s my only friend. My  _ best  _ friend. And no one will ever replace her.” A prickling sensation started at the inside corners of Catra’s eyes, causing her to burrow her face further into the crook of her elbows she created. Her closed lids rubbed harshly against her pressuring arms until she couldn’t feel the minute stinging of something much deeper than what was prevailing on the surface. “Well, at least that’s what I feel. It’s obvious she doesn’t care about me as much as she does her other friends. I  _ know  _ she wants to spend time with me, because why wouldn’t she? I’m her best friend...But she looks at me like I’m the one who's supposed to make the decision and tell her whether I want her to stay with me or that she can go off and do some stupid stuff with her other friends, but she already knows what I want. And she ignores that. She ignores  _ me.  _ And it hurts.”

“...” 

Catra was irked by the lack of response, which was probably due to the fact that she had been more open with Scorpia than she had before with anyone for a very long time. “...So? Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“Ahem!” Scorpia cleared her throat apologetically as she straightened her back to give Catra her full attention, a tint of red creeping over her cheeks in a miniature wildfire at the thought of missing the social cue. “I was, uh, taking a moment to see if there were any lingering thoughts you might have had on the matter before I took the chance to speak. But...” Catra stared back at her quizzically, as if perhaps there was some philosophical bout of wisdom hidden in Scorpia’s shelled, burgundy being that she were going to share. “Why haven’t you told her? About how you feel, I mean.”

There seemed to be an internal fight raging within Catra at the upbringing of Scorpia’s statement, because she fumbled for her balance as if some invisible force had taken the liberty of plowing her over, and for a few seconds she flailed mildly before planting her hands on the ground and seizing two fistfuls of grass to keep her from fainting. 

“H-How I  _ feel _ ?”

“Yeah, how you feel. It seems like you’re going through a lot, right? I mean, again, not that I have any friends to confess my sad feelings to, or anything….But  _ if I did _ have a friend, I think I would do just exactly that,” Scorpia’s hair slipped from it’s normally tidy upkeep under the weight of a thin sprinkling of sweat, and she brushed it back with a forlorn smile that conveyed more to Catra than words could. “I think that since you and Adora are really good friends, she would want to know how you’re feeling. And once she knows, she’d try to understand.” 

“But what happens if what I’m feeling might change the way she sees me? Or thinks of me?” The clod of dirt and grass between Catra’s clawed fingers pressed tighter and tighter against her skin, until it was relinquished into nothing more than a mangled combination of something grainy and dry and filled with misplaced anger. “I...Adora might not understand how I feel.”

“Or she might!” Scorpia nudged Catra in the shoulder gently, just enough for the younger of the two to topple to the left before swinging right back into her original position like the pendulum of a metronome. “I think you wouldn’t consider Adora your best friend if she didn’t stick with you all these years. There’s gotta be a special kind of connection, and I know she won’t leave you over some negative feelings you’ve got brewing in you making you a grumpy little kitty.”

“I am  _ not  _ a grumpy kitty,” Catra’s lips pulled downward to aim a snarl at the individual beside her, but instead of watching Scorpia shrink back in fright the other girl only grinned, and the fur bristling along the length of Catra’s spine settled. 

“Oh ho ho, I think you totally are, especially right now with that cute little pout you’ve got going on!” One of Scorpia’s claws drew closer to point out the supposed pout on Catra’s face, but just before the tough exoskeleton was about to make contact with a portion of Catra’s cheek she scurried away on all fours to position herself a safe distance away from Scorpia’s extended arm. “Aww.”

“No petting, Scorpia. I was just looking for someone who’d listen and maybe even give me a little bit of advice, which you’ve done. That’s it.”

“But you always let Adora pet you.” Scorpia was sitting across from Catra with her claws folded, ashen white hair mussed, and that signature, black gothic lipstick of hers encouraging an extra emotionally-distressed look. 

A flutter echoed in Catra’s chest, one that she disregarded as another one of those palpitations she’d been feeling recently. Of course she knew what it really was, but she wasn’t quite sure if she wanted to acknowledge the meaning at this very moment even though Scorpia was unintentionally doing and incredibly good job at forcing out of her something Catra didn’t have the guts to say out loud. 

“Adora’s different.”

“How so?”

“Best friends. Remember?”

“Oh yeah...”

Catra watched her tail flick in the background at the corner of her peripheral vision, twitching with an unparalleled energy she hadn't expected would arise from such a conversation with Scorpia. Perhaps it was because so many thoughts were rushing into her head; ideas and feelings she had refused to entertain for the most part, and was struggling to do so more with each passing day?

_ Okay. I’m gonna go out on a limb here, but whatever. It’s not like I’ll see Scorpia again after this summer.  _ “Scorpia, can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course.”

_ Here goes.  _ “....I’ve got a crush on Adora. I just haven’t told her because I’m scared of what she’ll think. It’s kind of why I’ve been so frustrated with her spending so much time with Glimmer and Bow….I wish she’d spend that time with me. That’s why it hurts.”

Catra almost wanted to prod the other girl again for answers, to tell her that yes, she didn’t have to wait for Catra to be done with her over-dramatic sob story, she was welcome to share her thoughts on the matter, heck, maybe even throw in another generous piece of advice here and there. Summer hummed all around her, but the dead silence she was receiving from Scorpia was eating her alive.

“Scorpia…?”

A towering shadow grew from the ground to stretch over Catra, and at its base stood Scorpia with the strap of her knapsack slung over a broad shoulder. The air around her felt immediately colder, as if it had somehow plummeted ten degrees, and the sun was eclipsed by the figure looming in front to such a degree that Catra was unsure if her recent disclosure was merely an ill foreshadowing of what would happen next. 

The air was cold, but it was unlike the honest counseling that followed. “If you like her then there’s all the more reason for you to tell her how you feel.” 

Scorpia’s shadow veered away and sunlight smeared against Catra’s arms again as the taller girl set off in the direction of the forest, where the rest of their group would soon be headed once the remaining members had succeeded in climbing the face of the rocky overhang. “The best thing you can do for someone you care about is to be honest with them.” There was a pause, but within the length of its emptiness, countless truths were revealed. “It’s something I think I need to work on as well.”

Catra didn’t bother calling for Scorpia to wait so that she’d be given a chance to catch up. Instead, what Scorpia had said felt heavy, like someone had just dropped a giant boulder into Catra’s lap, and she was wrecking her brain trying to figure out what to do to get rid of such a burden. 

So there she remained, motionless in the billowing grass, and wishing she could scrape away after it had been seared into her memory the sad smile Scorpia had given to her right before she left.

* * *

 

“Here, let’s try five marshmallows!” Frosta had the entire bag in one of her too small hands as the other furiously tired shoving a fistful of fluffy white treats onto the pointed end of her roaster prongs. There was already an unbelievably large mess of the dessert on the floor.  It mingled with the dead leaves that crunched underfoot in a composition of contrasting textures, but the marshmallow/leaf carnage was even more apparent when Glimmer launched herself forward and latched onto Frosta’s marshmallow bag, pulling it under her own arm. 

“That’s enough sugar for you. I don’t think you’re going to need  _ five  _ marshmallows inside your s’more.” She lifted a foot and wasn’t surprised to find a thick layer of goopy mallow suctioned to the bottom of her sneaker. “Look! You probably already dropped an entire bag’s worth!” 

Frosta’s hands were suddenly filled with more marshmallows, those which she furiously shoved into her mouth and that Glimmer swore weren’t there a second earlier, and Perfuma looked over, utterly confused as to where on Earth the treats she had set aside had disappeared off to. “Mfff, phooo don’ know vafft, pshhhh!”

Glimmer’s tone was a low, belligerent growl, one that careened out of her mouth through clenched teeth as Frosta’s eyes flew back and forth between Glimmer’s scowl and Perfuma’s confused expression. “Oh no, you didn’t…”

Frosta’s smile cracked just enough for a marshmallow piece to pop out and fall onto Glimmer’s shoe, and Catra watched in fascination when the pink-haired girl noticeably bristled, the bonfire in the center supporting the already warm, vexed hues that were swirling on Glimmer’s face. “Bahahaha!”

And so began the live entertainment of Glimmer and Frosta contending one another as they flashed like race cars around a track, until, that is, Mermista drawled out a very long, very monotone expanse of a reprimand, and the backlash of dead leaves and jaunty threats was stifled enough for Catra’s ears to perk up at the laughter echoing beside her. 

It was her favorite sound, if anyone dared to ask. Hearing it always filled her with a bubbling sensation that started at the bottom of her stomach and rose forward, up and out like a flowing brook, threatening to overtake the timid pleasure she sometimes tried to repress if she was among other company aside from Adora. 

She had been afraid before, but now…. _ now,  _ she thought that maybe Scorpia had a point. Maybe she was right in telling her that Catra needed to be honest with her best friend about how she felt. 

Hoping not to make eye contact with the older girl who sat across from her on the other side of the campfire, Catra raised her head solemnly to fake nitpicking some of the chocolate and marshmallow in her s’more, and her vision fell on Scorpia busying herself with holding some frenzied wires for Entrapta as she fiddled with a flashlight. There had been no further conversation with Scorpia that entire day, and internally Catra had been grateful; it allowed her time to herself to really meditate on the words that had passed between them earlier at the pinnacle of their hike, and now Catra felt driven to make her decision. 

No, it wasn’t too soon. And no, it wasn’t too late. She had known what she felt for Adora, ever since they had been small, was something vivacious, protective, loving, _ adamant _ in believing that her best friend was the one who always filled the hole. Whatever she needed, Adora was there; she was the one who took up the role Catra was relinquished of. 

Adora always had been her best friend, and as far as Catra was concerned, she still was, even if there seemed to be an unconventional balance between the time she spent with Glimmer and Bow than with Catra herself. And because of this, there was a throbbing hunger; it was there, pushing up alongside the bubbling she felt whenever Adora smiled or laughed, fighting for dominance. It wanted more. 

And thanks to a simple heart-to-heart with the girl across from her balancing on a log and covered by more and more random spare parts of their camping supplies, Catra knew what she had to do if she wanted what was she deemed as platonic and voluntary to morph into something braver and intrinsic.  

“Hey.” She set down her half-eaten s’more on a napkin she had formerly placed on the log where she sat, and carefully brushed a hand against Adora’s bare thigh. “Adora, can I show you something?”  
Adora’s laughter lilted at the exact moment Catra’s fingers graced her leg, and she nodded, scarfing down the remainder of her own s’more. With the action came the somewhat hysterical inability to speak cohesive words, but she needn’t talk, and instead allowed Catra to take her by the hand as Seahawk leapt from his seat to declare what he thought the perfect time for “campfire shanties”. 

They were already deep into the woods when Adora and Catra could no longer hold back the unsteady chuckles building up in their throats, and the full moon’s light painted monochrome shadows on the sides of the trees as they dashed past while their hearty joy followed behind in the form of laughter. 

“Hahaha, you have such impeccable timing! I would have  _ died _ if we’d had to sit through another round of Seahawk’s singing.” The tingling warmth of the fire was now far behind and night’s frigid temperatures were sinking into the surroundings, but in the wake of it all rested a new promise, tender and secretive, pressed tight against Adora’s hand as she clutched Catra’s. 

“Of course I’d make sure we weren’t there; it’s literally torture,” Catra’s voice was faint, but it was still there, dancing amongst the gusts of wind that curled through the tree’s branches and the sounds of the forgotten, unseen world which only emerged once everything had descended into darkness. “I’ve got something better to show you anyways.”

Adora bit her lip in an effort to muffle the onslaught of questions that her mind was offering. Catra would always remain an enigma, but she was one Adora never ceased being amazed with; all the surprises unveiled year after year, day after day, minute after minute. Catra continuously revealed a new fragment of herself every moment she was allowed, and Adora polished and treasured what she was given, simultaneously vowing that she would do her hardest to wait and understand the pieces that were still hidden.

After all, it’s what best friends were supposed to do, was it not? 

Adora braced herself by straining the majority of her weight on her lower half when she felt Catra tug her down a sloping hill, away from the nests of dried leaves and twigs and the scratchy bushes that grabbed at her loose clothing as they rushed by. 

The two of them were released into a clearing, and the breath Adora hadn't realized she was holding remained caught in the snares of her throat. 

All around them, splayed only for the two lucky souls who were currently subjected to such beauty, lay a glowing bed of golden primroses. Their flowered heads waved to the star-speckled sky in an enthusiastic greeting as they drank from the generous light the moon provided, and as a breeze whittled away loose leaves to kick them up into a miniature windstorm, unsuspecting fireflies detached and allowed themselves to be swept away by the mellow current. 

“Catra, it’s…” Adora almost feared taking a step closer, worrying that perhaps by treading on even a mere inch of this precious scene she’s mangle something sacred. Even so, she couldn’t stop her own feet from pushing through the bed of flowers, each step a purposeful, carefully placed puzzle piece that she processed before in her mind at impossible speed with the urgency to bury herself in more of this majesty. 

“It’s beautiful,” she finally finished. A drop of moonlight in the form of an insect caressed her finger, and she lifted it slowly, which was just enough time for the bug to unfurl its wings and set off again on its nocturnal adventure. “Why haven’t I been here before?”  
Catra coughed into her fist, wishing that the pounding jackhammer beating against the inside of her chest would submit to exhaustion and slow the pace for just a while. “They barely started growing last year.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I came back here a few days ago by myself and found out that the little seedlings which were barely sprouting towards the end of last summer had finally become something much more amazing...And I thought you’d like to see it.”

Adora’s windbreaker rustled as she turned around, and the sledgehammer in Catra’s chest gave one insurmountable  _ ‘thud’ _ which nearly knocked the remaining air right out of her _.  _ The emotions visible on her best friend’s face were ranging from curiosity to delight to astonishment, and Catra’s brain responded in a frenzied intake as she attempted to absorb it all, because truly, it was a sight she hoped she’d never forget. “Thank you, Catra.” A pause, and then softly: “I love it.”

 The wind picked up once more, and Catra’s feet stumbled forward while the force of nature thrust itself against her back, as if nudging her to continue with the intent that had been building within her all these years. It was like a caterpillar retreated to the comfy confines of a threaded cocoon, and having gorged on the rich slumber of nostalgia which was a past life, decided that now it was ready for something new, something different, and this longing would prompt the pivotal burst from dream to reality.

“...Adora, there’s been something I’ve been meaning to tell you.” She was a few steps away from Adora now, and if she had dared, despite the horrible drumming in her chest which caused her to believe any second her heart would leap forward in escape, could reach out and touch her best friend. 

Adora knelt down to cradle the head of a primrose, and the incandescent yellow soaked her fingers in an otherworldly glow. Then, it was as if something had snapped together inside her head at the processing of Catra’s words, and she stood up, a brazen look overtaking the careless glee that had swathed her features just moments before. Those imploring blue eyes of hers would always prove to be Catra’s weakness, as was her smile, her laugh, her gentle touches. 

Catra’s fists wound into themselves briefly, thin ebony nails digging into her skin with a painful prominence that reminded Catra she needed to succumb to a state of lesser anxiety or else she’d possibly create a much more complicated mess of this than she hoped it would be. 

_ Deep breath in, deep breath out.  _ It was a simple mantra, but one she found increasing difficulty in following.  _ Deep breath in, deep breath out.  _

“Adora, I--”

_ Deep breath in. _

“I--”

_ Deep breath out. _

“I like you, Adora.” 

Golden tails of Adora’s hair whipped across her cheek in a playful manner, and Catra did her best to not reach up and tuck them behind her friend’s ear like she normally did, although this time it would have been in an effort to distract herself of the vulnerability that was flooding in from every angle.

“And before you go saying that you like me too, you need to understand that it’s  _ not _ an  _ “Oh, I like you cause you’re nice and a great friend”  _ kind of thing, it’s...it’s more than that. I’ve…been wanting to tell you for a while now. And I know it’s stupid and you’ll probably never ever ever hear me say this kind of sappy stuff ever again, but I need to tell you because I know we’re not going to be together all the time anymore…” 

Catra’s feet suddenly looked more intriguing to her than Adora’s searching eyes, and she wiggled her toes uncomfortably. “I know we’re going into high school, and this is our last time here at Brightmoon Lake together, and things are probably going to be really different after we leave this place and school starts again....We might not have the same classes, maybe I’ll get detention a lot and have to sit in during lunch...Heck, you’ll probably make tons of new friends and maybe even forget about me. I’ve…wanted to spend more time with you, and I wish you’d  _ want  _ to spend more time with me too. Not just because everything might be really different when the summer is over, but because maybe you feel the same way about me too.”  

There it was. It was everything Catra had been feeling for the past few years, packed down, compressed, and forced into the timespan of a month-long’s culmination of over-analytical thinking. It was her heart, more alive than it had ever been and beating a thousand times per minute, extended toward the one person she loved the most in the entire world. 

It took more courage than she imagined to pry her eyes off of those dusty feet of hers, the ones peeking up shyly between the liquid moonlight veil staining the deep green stems and their counterparts, the primroses, a luminous yellow. And when she did, when she was finally victorious in reclaiming her gaze on Adora’s face, she felt as if the world had been flipped upside down within the matter of a split second.

The sky blue of Adora’s eyes were hidden as she stared down, somewhere between her and Catra for a few moments before resurfacing and locking onto the only thing they were obliged to at this exact point in time: Catra. 

“I...” There was a sheen not unlike the thinly spread layer of tears yet to materialize that blanketed the azure gaze, and the air was chock-full of words and emotions that remained hidden, refusing to emanate from their private origins. 

_ Why aren’t you saying anything…? _

Adora reached forward and took Catra’s hand within her own, and although the touch was tender and inviting the only thing Catra felt was a sour lump growing inside her throat, having taken the place of the thundering heart which before had rebelled by abandoning the home in her chest. She squeezed Catra’s hand tightly, and if she was honest with herself she could not register if what she was feeling was pain or something entirely different. 

All Adora knew was that she could not answer. 

“...Catra, I…” 

Catra had had enough of the silent torment, and opened her mouth to stutter back some sort of reply as a verbal buffer when the final words she’d hear from Adora that evening were announced, slicing the air as viciously as a serrated knife. 

“I’m sorry.”

The hand within her own was gone, and so was Adora.

Catra’s hand lingered within the air, unsure whether the girl holding it a minute before was merely a dubious figment of a scene intended to happen but never having taken place, or if it was in fact truth itself that Catra had faintly held, as gently as if it were a newly hatched butterfly that had ruptured and departed from its sheath of worn reveries forever.

* * *

 

Every day after that was one more day that Catra wished she were anywhere but Brightmoon Lake, which, of course, roguishly challenged her logic from the beginning of the summer. Back then, she wanted each day to last a lifetime. Now, she could barely go a total of thirty seconds two tables away from Adora and her friends Glimmer and Bow without wanting to fling her plate of macaroni and cheese at somebody and then bolt out of the dining hall at breakneck speed.

But she had done what she needed to do, and although dinner itself tasted as bland and felt as stiff as cardboard, she had scarfed it down nonetheless in order to be excused so that she could finally surrender herself to free time. It created less agonizing staring from the tables over where the people usually surrounding herself sat. 

There was no way she could face Adora, after what had happened. And to think it had only been a couple of days ago where she bared her open soul in a flurry of adolescent worries, thoughts, and emotions only to have her best friend, the one whom she had been absolutely head-over-heels for for as long as she could remember, run away without any rational reasoning. 

Of course it only meant one thing. 

Adora didn’t feel the same way.

Catra’s feet dragged against the hardwood flooring of their cabin, and she didn’t even bother swatting away at the fly that was tearing circles to and fro around her face as it followed her in from outside.  

All she wanted was an escape. Anywhere was better than here.

There was a muffled  _ ‘thud’  _ as she face-planted into the pillow on the bottom bunk, before her fur bristled along the nape of her neck, all the way down her spine, and to the very tip of her tail when she smelled the familiar scent of Adora’s green apple shampoo soaking the linen. Bolting upright she was very lucky to have missed banging her head against the top of the bunk hovering above her, and she scuttled away and up the ladder adorning the side of the bed to her own mattress, resting on top. The sheets were still spotless, untainted by chocolate bar smears or the crumbled, buttery remains of popcorn fragments. And the pillow; the pillow was somehow too fluffy for her liking, and smelled like the generic fresh laundry dryer sheets you could purchase at any grocery store. Yet it would have to do. 

The scent of green apple once again snuck into her mind although she had physically removed herself from the object that lay below her bunk, and she wrapped the ends of the pillow around her head, covering her ears and wishing she could smother herself to sleep. 

It was always difficult for her to sleep alone, but found solace whenever she was against the warm side of a gently-breathing, resting Adora. If there was one thing Catra disliked about herself, it was her inability to sleep alone, and although she was now ridiculing herself for her weakness, something inside her ached for that which she was now denied. 

“Just go to bed already!” Catra chided herself, and the words bounced back off the cushioned walls of the pillow to tackle her head and assault her ears. No more than ten seconds had passed, and when she registered the fact that she was not yet asleep and hadn't managed to smother herself before like she had hoped, she whipped the pillow away from her head and hurled it at the cabin wall beside her, an infuriated growl breaching her throat in the process. 

The fluffy object tumbled back down onto the mattress next to Catra, but not without shedding a hint of off-white, something that contrasted with the linen just enough for Catra’s eyes, half-lidded in anger, to pick up and associate as something entirely different.

It was a small scrap of paper, folded in half, and tucked neatly inside the pillow case just enough that it most likely hadn't traveled very far as it circulated against the fabric, at least not until Catra’s temper had gotten the best of her. 

She reached for it carefully, as if at any moment between her getting closer and touching the paper it would somehow spontaneously combust. When it didn’t explode and she had seized it with the utmost heed by the claws of her index and thumb, the faintest smell of apple once again wafted into the air, kickstarting her heart into hyperdrive.

There was no stopping her from leaving the paper unfolded. 

**_\-- Catra,_ **

**_I need to talk to you. I’m sorry I left you without an answer the other night...You don’t have to forgive me, but please give me a chance to explain. I’ll be waiting for you tonight. Meet me at the dock._ **

**_Adora --_ **

_ What--When on Earth did you leave me this letter??  _ Catra ran a hand through her unruly brown hair, unaware that she was pulling rather hard at her locks in frustration. She  _ had  _ been sleeping here, within her own bunk instead of Adora’s, for the past few days since the…the situation. So how long exactly had this note been resting here, encapsulated by a pillow Catra never slept on? 

There were no sufficient clues detailing her the amount of time she had possibly allowed the message from Adora to sit under her head, but the maximum should have been a few days at most. If Adora had been able to sort through her feelings and thoughts on the matter of what unraveled that night not too long ago, that was. 

_ Tonight. I have to go tonight.  _

Deep inside her gut wrenched, and the more pessimistic side of her lurched to the forefront of her mind where only images of Adora were collected.  _ But what if she just asked you to meet her so she could properly give you an actual rejection? What then?  _

_ …There’s only one way to find out. _

* * *

 

Catra waited for every single light with the cabin to sizzle into oblivion and for every series of breaths to slow into lulled waves that rose and fell gently, like the ebbing tide of the ocean as it spread itself across the sand.

She had stuffed her face deep into the pillow once again, finding her still heart amiss with a crevasse it could not fill, and thus she was unentitled to sleep. It was probably for the best, considering she was waiting for the right moment to leave the cabin so she could sneak out to the lake, and if drowsiness would have somehow overpowered her, she would have never forgiven herself. 

The creaking of a mattress being released of the weight on top sounded from directly below, and her ears flicked upward in response. 

_ Adora.  _

There was silence, as if the individual, the only other person within the cabin who was awake at such a God-forsaken hour was hesitant in deciding their next move, and Catra’s heart leapt into her throat when her ears bent toward the sound of feet padding across the floor. The gentle click of a door signaled that Adora had left, allowing a safe environment for Catra to feel that she too could advance in their patchwork plan to rendezvous. 

Shadows jived along the wooden wall, dipping into the crevices and cracks and smoothing them out as they passed over. Catra’s own silhouette did the same as she discarded her blanket, doing her best not to rustle it and wake anyone (Lonnie was in the bunk across the room, and if she had woken because of any disturbance create by Catra, well...there would be unfortunate consequences) and clambered over the side of the bed. Following Adora’s lead, she slipped out the door with the utmost stealth possible, one that could be compared to that of an experienced burglar, and was greeted by a delightful gust of breeze that swept across her face. 

The moon soared above in the night sky, reduced in size somewhat by the monthly waning cycle, but proving to bathe everything scattered below in sufficient shades of varying gentle, golden hues. 

In the distance a rugged symphony of frogs could be heard as the little amphibians wallowed in the suffocating pleasure of an uninterrupted night around the edges of the lake, unknowingly reminding Catra of her midnight destination.  

She took one step forward and was separated from the wooden porch of the cabin, took another step forward and sank into the cold grass carpeting the ground beneath her bare feet, and then took another and another, and soon she was running, lungs circulating the cool night air.

The lake called to her. It was there, tonight, and only tonight, that she would discover the flow of the entirety of her’s and Adora’s relationship, and although half of her was furiously screaming from the inside to scamper back to the cabin and hibernate for the rest of the summer, she wanted to know. There was no holding back her curiosity, and a tinier, meeker portion of her being guided her onward, like a faint, twinkling star blinking in and out of existence. 

Twigs snapped underneath while the thin, fingered branches of trees clasped her clothing like they wanted to hold her back, but Catra pushed onward, and the scent of water filled her nostrils, as did the all-too-familiar apple smell she had grown accustomed to over the years. 

A final burst of freedom came when she bulldozed through the endmost patch of wilderness separating her from the lake where the evergreen bushes morphed into cattails and reeds. The rustle of her hasty arrival caused the individual standing aloof by the shore to spin around, and Catra failed in hoisting her heart yet again down to the confines her chest, where it belonged.

“You came.” The words were light, endearing, as if they were spoken any louder they would startle away the girl approaching. “I...I was starting to think you wouldn’t show up.”

There was a chuckle that Catra could not help but allow to escape, and it brushed up against and out of her throat at the obvious insecurity displayed by Adora as her friend stood there sheepishly, hands stuffed deep into the pockets of her jacket. _ I didn’t realize before…I’m sorry.  _ “...How long ago did you slip that note into my pillowcase?”

“The night after.” 

Catra stopped short of Adora, and separated herself a safe distance away of around five feet; it would have to suffice as both the physical and emotional buffer for the time being. “Sorry. I-I didn’t know until earlier today. You know you could have texted me.” _ You’re such a dork,  _ she almost wanted to add, and then something else she knew she’d dare not say.  _ Even so, I almost didn’t want to come.  _

Adora shrugged half-heartedly, pushing a lock of hair distractedly behind her ear as the wind skimmed off the surface of the lake and up against her back. “...I thought if I texted you you’d just ignore me.”

_ You’re not wrong. I would have wanted to, but it’s impossible for me to ignore you. You should know this by now.  _

A heavy sigh drew Catra out of her thoughts. “It’s my fault. For...For all of this,” Adora gestured to nothing in particular except the air between them. “I wouldn’t have been surprised if you had read the letter and didn’t want to come. I’d totally understand.”

“And let you just leave me in the dark after what happened? No way,” Catra retaliated as she did her best to keep her irritation at bay, but it boiled beneath her skin and made her fur prickle just enough that the cool night air was forced to become a soothing balm. “Even though I haven’t spoken to you for the past few days, I swear this loneliness and silence between us has been eating me alive.”

Adora’s hesitant eyes searched Catra’s face, flicking back and forth to catch any visible range of emotions she hoped she wasn’t glossing over in an effort to deliver what pertinent information she held tucked away, buried deep within her soul. She too, over the course of the last few days, had realized the insidious repercussions of her actions, and the more she thought about them, the worse she felt. It was an abhorrent gnawing that sucked away what contentment she carried over the summer, in exchange warping it into an agonizing guilt that was nearly felt on a physical level. 

It hurt to look at Catra when she isolated herself rows away at the dining hall. 

It hurt to tuck herself into bed at night and feel that empty, cold space beside her.

It hurt to know that she was the cause for all of Catra’s agony.

And this was why Adora needed to tell her best friend the truth.

“...I ran away that night because I was scared.”

“...”  _ Geez, that doesn’t say very much . _

“I-I was scared because…because I felt the same way.”

Catra tilted her head to the side, unsure if she had heard Adora’s words correctly of if maybe her mind was reiterating to her the twisted guise of a phrase she knew would slay her in order to keep her sane, even if it were only a temporary solution. “W-Wait….you  _ what _ ?”

Adora inhaled, and then released a heavy, labored breath as her brows furrowed together anxiously. “I ran away because I felt the same way and I was _ scared _ ,” the words came out sloppily, but as messily, impromptu, and as honest as a stream of consciousness could possibly get. “...Catra, there’s something I haven’t told you.”

If Catra’s heart weren’t already beating at the speed of a hummingbird’s blurred wings, she was sure that at a rate any faster it’d explode and here she’d die, alone and unloved at the tender, confusing fringe of adolescence. “What is it?”

“I didn’t want you to know...but in the fall we aren’t going to the same high school like you thought we were.” Adora’s voice was strained, like the reality of the situation was currently collapsing on her happiness and reminding her of the impending future ahead. “I wanted this summer to be the best it could possibly be with you, that we could make the most out of it; for some reason I thought the only way that were possible were if I didn’t tell you what was going to happen, because I thought if I did then you’d just be depressed the entire time.” 

There was a slight pause, and Catra was unsure whether it was for dramatization or if merely because Adora was struggling with conveying the truth in a way that would lessen the blow for both of them. “...And I thought if I kept it a secret it’d also help  _ me.  _ Help me control whatever I was feeling, that is.”

Catra could not restrain her hand, and it snatched Adora’s own as she crossed the invisible barricade she’d set up only moments before. “But then I never would have known! And do you  _ know _ how much it would have hurt, walking into a new school with new people and not knowing a single one of them, just to realize that I’d be alone? Without you?” Her tone had risen noticeably, but she didn’t care; there was no one here, only the two of them, the lake, and the sea of feelings drowning them. “I’d much rather  _ know,  _ like I mentioned before, than to be left completely in the dark. You know I care about how you feel too, right? You’re--” she delayed, but only because there was the longing of something more, something leagues more intimate. “You’re my best friend.”

Adora fixed Catra with a smile, one that reminisced on happier times past as she contemplated the absolute sincerity of such a simple but profound sentence crafted specifically for her. “I know you care.” Squeezing the hand within her own just enough that it ignited a warm, fluttering bevy of butterflies within Catra’s stomach of something precious, Adora allowed a burst of heat to rise against her cheeks. “I’m….just kind of surprised you felt the same way too this entire time.” Then Adora pursed her lips together, gathering her thoughts. “Wait -- you  _ do  _ like me in the way I like you, right? Like, as more than just friends...I’m not just imagining things about what you said before or being crazy, am I?”

_ Adora, I really don’t know what I’m going to do with you.  _ Catra almost blanched at the comment, but instead she reined herself in and settled for rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly. “Are you kidding me? If anything, I’ve been making passes at you for as long as I can remember. You’re not crazy.”

“For reals?”

“Yeah. And okay, maybe I haven’t been subtly flirting with you for as long as I can remember, but it’s _ at least  _ been for a pretty long time.” Catra dug her elbow into Adora’s side gently, and the other girl laughed. “But holy cow, it doesn’t help that you’re literally as thick as a Seahawk’s mustache.”

“I am not!” Adora pouted with more amusement than betrayal layered in her voice, and once again it felt as though everything had fallen back into place. She had not yet retrieved her hand from the security of Catra’s own, but it was alright, she didn’t want to. Their laughter tossed itself to the recurring waves lapping against the sand, and they fell back into the kind of comfortable silence that had disappeared for a couple of days. 

Catra side-eyed Adora, her ears pressed down against her head in the way they always did when she was nervous and maybe even a bit scared. Right now, it was a mixture of both. “So...What’s going to happen with…with the two of us?” She did not want to force her friend into anything, despite what she knew she wanted, and because of this relented into asking the question nonetheless. 

Adora’s smile wilted. “I...There’s nothing we can change about what will happen later on,” she began, and upon hearing the words, the pitter-patter of small creatures in Catra’s core, whatever they were, halted their somersaults. “But…I would like to still make this the best possible summer it can be, for the two of us. And I’m sorry I wasn’t spending as much time with you as you’d like, but like I said, I was scared about... _ this _ ...and thought just running away and avoiding the issue would be the best thing to do.”

Catra just stared at her without uttering a single word, and Adora suddenly felt extremely self-conscious. 

“Wh-What is it? Do I have something on my face?”

“Nah,” came Catra’s reply, but with the way she was smirking Adora wasn’t sure she felt safe. “It’s just I forgive you.”

“Really?”

“Yep -- on one condition.” 

Adora’s face was starting to burn at the lack of distance between herself and Catra, and likewise her mind was reeling at an incredulous rate, the likes of which she’d never experienced before; it must have been, she thought, associated with the fact that now there was nothing more to share between herself and Catra about their reticent feelings, and the notion itself jolted her slightly. 

“A-And what might that be?” Adora would have slunk back if possible, but somewhere a few feet behind her she knew there were no more wooden planks to support her weight. 

“We start  _ tonight _ by making this summer the best one possible.” Catra’s eyes glistened brightly in the moonlight, shining before Adora like twin stars of varying shades; one a lustrous blue, as vibrant as a clear, cloudless day, and the other a valiant, startling yellow that immediately called to Adora’s mind the memory of the primrose sanctuary her best friend had discovered.

_ Oh Adora.  _

Adora nodded, too flustered to find words to place on her tongue, and Catra took the gesture as an immediate invitation to lean forward and expunge the few inches that remained between them. Adora’s lips met her own, albeit warily at first but then reciprocative of the sentiment, and in a singular, perfect matrimony that eradicated any and all irresolution within her being, and for the first time in forever the empty lacuna within Catra’s heart was filled with something she knew she couldn’t find anywhere else. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading, and if you had any questions or comments feel free to leave one, they are much appreciated. <3


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